The opposite of a ‘Tiger Mother’: leaving your children behind – Parenting on Shine.
I’m sorry but I find this story messed up on so many levels. Have we really gotten to the point where mother’s can just ‘change their mind’ and not be a mother to their children anymore?:
Ten years ago, when her sons were 5 and 3, Rizzuto received a fellowship to spend six months in Japan, researching a book about the survivors of Hiroshima. Four months in, when her children came to visit, she had an epiphany: She didn’t want to be a full-time mother anymore. When she returned to New York, she ended her 20-year marriage and chose not to be her kids’ custodial parent.
These women try very very hard to justify their open abandonment of their kids, with some claiming they were actually doing their kids a favor by upping and leaving:
After a lengthy custody battle and two years of joint custody, she realized that her ex-husband (a pilot with an erratic schedule) wasn’t going to change, and her situation wasn’t going to change, unless she decided to change things for herself. “I realized that by being so nurturing, I was in some ways keeping my children from growing to their potential,” she says. “We talked about it for months and we prepared together, not really knowing what being 3,000 miles apart might look like or feel like.”
I also like how the article tries to defend these actions on the grounds that men leaving their kids is “accepted” but a different standard is somehow made for women.
But it shines a light on a glaring double standard: When a man chooses not to be a full-time parent, it’s acceptable—or, at least, accepted. But when a woman decides to do so, it’s abandonment.
Um, what? As if deadbeat dads are treated in high regard in our society, mere virtuous individuals trying to “find themselves” by upping and leaving their kids! What a bunch of unfounded, forced nonsense.
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